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It’s the most wonderful time of the year. And for many folks, it’s also the busiest, most stressful time as well. Those who are already juggling multiple responsibilities – like the 53 million family caregivers in America – might be even more susceptible to feeling overwhelmed during the holiday season.
According to the Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 report, 21% of caregivers report their health as fair to poor, and 23% say that caregiving has made their health worse. Though the study didn’t touch specifically on mental or emotional well-being, there’s no doubt that there is a psychological toll. That might be especially true for the 26% who have difficulty coordinating their loved one’s care, or for those who are watching over someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s.1
Working to maintain good mental health is always important, but it takes center stage during the holidays. Here are some tips to help caregivers manage the holiday season.
Be Honest About Your Situation
Caregiving is tough enough as it is, but it becomes even more so if you are isolated from others as you care for your loved one. And those who are on the outside might not understand if you can’t make it to the big celebrations with family or friends. You might find that opening up a bit can help you in ways you couldn’t imagine.
If you are in a position where getting out for the holidays isn’t feasible for your loved one anymore, gently make that clear in a Christmas card, private family Facebook group, or a few well-placed phone calls. If you want to attend a certain celebration but need help to do so, say that as well. The more those around you know about the reality of your situation, the more likely they are to find ways to help.
Protect Your Energy
This refers not only to your physical energy but your emotional energy as well.
It’s usually quite clear when your physical energy just isn’t up to par, and it makes sense – caregiving takes a toll on your physical health. Being tired before the sun goes down is a common thing among caregivers. If you are in the paid workforce in addition to being a caregiver, your physical energy is tested even more.
If you don’t have the energy to go out, simply don’t go out. Make your need for rest a priority by turning down that dinner invitation, saying goodnight early at the holiday party, or simply explaining that you haven’t had good rest lately and you need to get more.
Gift Yourself with Stress Relief
According to Today’s Caregiver, caregivers have 23% higher levels of stress hormones and a 15% lower level of antibody responses than those who are not caregivers. That contributes to the higher risk of health problems and death that family caregivers face.2 Stress levels tend to go up during the holidays, which puts you at even greater risk.
Relieving that stress is undeniably important. To that end, put yourself first when you can.
Be sure to get ample sleep – speak to your doctor if you find it difficult to sleep soundly. Exercise regularly, even if it’s stretching on the living room floor. Eat well because too much sugar leads to energy crashes and poor health outcomes.
Take pleasure in the little things, like that ten minutes to savor your favorite coffee or a quiet moment with a cherished pet. Take deep breaths every hour. Write in a journal, even if it’s just one page or paragraph. Whatever it takes to keep you calm and collected, make a point of doing that.
As a family caregiver, it’s important for you to find ways to ease your worries. Lowering stress levels can be good for everyone, but especially for you and your mental, emotional, and physical health.
A medical alert pendant from Alert1 may help provide some peace of mind. If you need to hop in the shower or run an errand, you can be rest assured that Alert1 is there for your loved one every moment while you’re away.
Create a Comfortable Atmosphere for Visits
If your loved one can no longer go out to family events, there could be friends and family who want to come to them. These social visits can be incredibly needed, so make the time as comfortable for everyone as possible.
It’s a good idea to create one area of the house that will be designated for visiting. This might be your loved one’s bedroom, where they can stay in their bed and talk with those around them. Include a few comfortable chairs if there is space for them, and a few simple snacks and bottles of water or other drinks.
You can also include things that evoke memories and start conversation. A shoebox full of old photographs is a great option for this. According to Bethesda Health Group, taking a walk down memory lane can benefit seniors by reducing negative emotions, lowering blood pressure, improving communication, and increasing their confidence.3
This can also take some pressure off of you. During the visits, let others take the lead in sharing time with your loved one. You can take that time to sit on the couch and read or watch your favorite show, or take a walk outside.
Don’t Overdo It
While going all out for the holidays is a typical theme for many families, sometimes some things must fall to the wayside to make room for more important things.
If you don’t have the energy for all the decorations this year, choose a few small favorites and put those on display. If you dread struggling with that full-size tree and all the delicate ornaments, go easy on yourself with an artificial tabletop tree with tiny ornaments that sparkle in the light. It’s still a beautiful celebration of the season.
The same goes for a big spread in the kitchen. While the holidays are a time to break bread with family and friends, sometimes life changes mean that you can’t do as much this year as you did in years past. Be honest with your circle about what you can and can’t do, and then don’t stress yourself about it. The point is to enjoy being together; it’s not about the food.
Some might be upset about traditions being broken, but don’t let that push you into biting off more than you can chew. Offer suggestions on ways to modify traditions or continue them in some other way that doesn’t tax you or your loved one too much. And remember, others can always pitch in and help.
If Someone Offers, Say Yes
Someone might offer to help you as part of their holiday gift to you or the goodwill of the season. When they offer, take them up on it!
Someone might offer respite care for a few hours while you go get a massage. Someone else might suggest that they could help you clean up the yard before winter snow hits. If these things are offered to you, don’t hesitate to say yes.
It’s entirely possible that others mean well but really have no idea what could help you out. In that case, have a short wish list of what you would like to receive for the holidays. You could ask for a few hours of help, a few casseroles dropped off, or assistance with something around the house. Friends and loved ones will likely be relieved with a short list of things to choose from to help you.
If someone is stepping in for respite care and you worry about how they might handle things, provide peace of mind for yourself and others with an emergency button alarm. This allows anyone in the room to press the button and get help right away. This tiny device can save a life but it can also save your sanity!
Remember Your Loved One
Sharing time with your loved one during the holiday season helps alleviate the loneliness they might feel and gives you an opportunity to count your blessings.
Look at their ability levels and figure out appropriate activities they can do with you. Someone might not be able to leave the home but their eyes will light up as they trim the tree. Your loved one might not be able to get out of bed, but they might use their lovely handwriting to address Christmas cards. Even someone in the later stages of dementia might be delightfully happy to receive a stocking filled with gifts they recognize from their childhood.
Let an alert system for elderly adults give you peace of mind this holiday season. Taking care of someone you love is an honor but it can also be quite tough; the more help you can get, the better, and this too can help caregivers manage the holidays a bit easier.
