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According to American Humane, over half of senior adults over the age of 50 have at least one pet, and many have more than one animal in the home.1 Pets can have a strong impact on their owners, and that might be an especially important bond for seniors, as they tend to struggle with loneliness and social isolation more than their younger counterparts. Pets can provide a sense of purpose, ample exercise opportunities, and a companion to make the house livelier.
According to Frontiers in Public Health, pets were very helpful to seniors during the COVID epidemic and the resulting lockdowns.2 Pets brought unconditional love, stress relief, emotional support, distraction, routine, and a reason to get out and exercise. Caring for a pet can be a true joy.
But if an older person’s health declines, they might find it difficult to care for themselves, which is when you step in as a caregiver. There are some ways you can help the situation, such as ensuring your parent has a medical alarm on them at all times, or making the home a safer place with some aging in place modifications which can allow them to continue living independently and taking care of their pet while doing so.
In some cases, being unable to care for themselves can also mean they are no longer able to care for their pets. That’s when you must guide them and make some tough choices – a pet deserves to live a long, healthy, and happy life, just like its owners do. And to make that happen, sometimes you need to send the pet to live with someone else.
Even the thought of broaching the subject can make you feel awful – especially if you truly love the pet too and you don’t want to let them go. Keeping the end goal in mind can help. You want the beloved pet to be happy and healthy, and you want your parent to know they made the right decision by giving them to someone who can provide that for them.
The Fine Art of Rehoming
Finding a new home for a beloved pet can be a difficult choice. On the one hand, it can be a relief to know that a beloved pet will go to someone who can give them the care and love they need. But on the other hand, letting go of a pet who has been a cherished companion can feel like saying goodbye to a member of the family. It can lead to deep grief and a sense of loss.
But there are ways to make it somewhat easier. Here are a few tips.
Start the process as soon as possible
When making the decision to find a new home for a pet, start looking into your options as soon as possible. This will allow you to take your time and choose the route that works best for your parent. This might mean getting in touch with someone in a wide circle of friends and family, signing up for a service like Pet Finder, or talking to your local humane society about what the options are in your area.
If you’re really lucky, you already know someone who would happily take on a new pet. The peace of mind that they are going to a good, loving home where they are eagerly awaited can work wonders for easing your heart.
But take it slow…
While it’s good to start looking into your options right away, it’s also beneficial to take some time to say goodbye. Sometimes you might not have that luxury; for instance, a parent who suffers a fall and winds up in rehabilitation for months afterward might need to find a home for their pet right away, as they can’t physically be there to care for them.
However, in most cases, you will have at least a few weeks to look into options. Don’t rush the process! Buy yourselves some time to say goodbye and become comfortable with the idea that a beloved pet will be in someone else’s home.
Rehome with family members
If you can place the pet with a family member, that’s the best option for everyone involved. There’s the opportunity to still see the animal and give them love and affection, but also have the knowledge that they are in a comfortable place with people who love them. Getting regular updates is easy. And it’s likely that the pet already knows the person who will take them in, so that makes the transition much easier for them.
Work with a reputable rescue organization
If you don’t have a family member who can take the pet in, it’s time to look at a rescue organization that might be able to help you. Try to work with an organization that offers fostering a pet in the home of a volunteer while on the lookout for a permanent placement.
Many organizations will offer updates on how your pet is doing and might even connect you with the adopter after the paperwork is signed. Some others will want to simply “close” the adoption and ask you to make a clean break from your pet so as not to confuse them. Go with the option that works best for your parent and your pet.
If you work with a shelter, only work with those that have a clear no-kill policy. According to Best Friends Animal Society, about 57% of shelters in the United States took a no-kill pledge in 2022.3 That means that the shelter won’t euthanize pets unless there is a very clear reason that they should, such as a serious injury or illness that is destroying their quality of life.
By choosing a no-kill shelter, you can ensure that your pet is protected, loved, and kept healthy and happy while awaiting their forever home.
Keep bonded pairs together
If you have two animals that are bonded with each other, make sure they stay together if at all possible.
Bonded pairs have each other to lean on during the sometimes frightening and confusing life changes. By having their usual buddy right by their side, they are less stressed and can weather those changes better. If you separate them, they could react with behavioral issues that make them tough to place in a new home.
Keep some mementos
When you say goodbye to a pet, keep some things that will make everyone smile at the good memories they brought. Pictures and videos of them or a favorite collar or toy are things that your parent can keep with them that will remind them of the good times.
It might be appropriate to give your parent a framed photo of their pet and ask the adopter for an update on how they are doing. A letter describing their latest antics and how they are settling in can allow everyone to breathe a sigh of relief.
Acknowledge the grief
Though the pet is alive and well in a new home, their absence can leave a significant hole in a family. Your parent will need time to grieve losing their pet. Allow the grief to spill over however it will, and treat it with the same reverence you would offer if their pet had died. The absence can feel just as vast.
So if you feel the need to cry, do so. If your parent has some distraught moments, that’s okay. Always remind each other that a beloved pet has found a new forever home and they will continue to live a full and happy life. That can take some of the sting out of the loss.
As a senior parent’s health declines, an alert for elderly adults can alleviate the concerns about getting help if something bad should happen. Whether accident, illness, or injury, a medical alert device ensures that help gets there as quickly as possible once the emergency button alarm is pushed.
Get regular updates
If you can ask the adopter to give regular updates, do so! A simple phone call or note telling you how things are going can reinforce that you did the right thing. It can also give your senior parent peace of mind. And the communication can benefit the new pet parents as well—if they need to know a little tidbit about why the pet does a certain thing or the kind of food they like, your parent can provide the answers they need.
Share any updates with your parent if they are in a mindset to receive them. Ask your parent to tell you when they are ready to hear about their pet’s new home.
Be ready if it doesn’t work out
Sometimes you put forth the best possible effort to find the right home, think the process is completed, and then a few weeks later you’re told things aren’t working out. Now what? It’s important to have a game plan for what to do if this happens. Sometimes a certain pet just doesn’t quite fit in with a certain household, and that’s okay – pets have personalities too, and sometimes they can clash with their humans.
If it doesn’t work out initially, keep in mind that your parent has already said their goodbyes. Carefully consider if you want to bring the pet back home and go through the loss again, or if it might be best to contact a rescue organization and let them handle rehoming.
No matter what your choice, in-home or on-the-go medical alert technology can be there for your elderly parent at all times. This means they can get help for all sorts of emergencies, 24/7, simply by pressing a button and connecting to live assistance that is standing by. Though putting a cherished pet in a new home might be nerve-wracking, some decisions are much easier than that. Choosing the right medical alert is one of them.
